This.... Game... Not even worth $0.00

First off, expect very long (upwards of a minute) load times. This makes this already unappealing game less fun, as I just have to stare at that static picture of two anchors and loading text.

Second off, expect impossible standards. There is a trophy system where if you can get to the goal fast enough, you get other gold, silver, or bronze. Except wait... You need to be a goddamn Olympic-level player to even cinch in a gold on the very first level.

Do I even need to talk about ads? Nitrome doesnt even have the common courtesy of waiting until the level is completed to force a sudden ad IN THE MIDDLE OF GAMEPLAY. This further adds to the frustration to people trying to get gold in each level, as if you are even going slightly good, you get popped into some ad for a new kitchen or some crap like that. Does this mean that unless I buy the in-app purchase (which , I guess, means infinite lives and no ads, but I cant really decipher those hieroglyphs Nitrome chooses to use instead of text.) At first, I loved the concept of the game, but I wont return to it even if its all fixed, because of how much those above factors slap me in the face.

<tag> FTW!! about Beneath The Lighthouse